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Any action which conduces to the practice of Dharma, Artha and Kama together, or of any two, or even one of them, should be performed, but an action which conduces to the practice of one of them at the expense of the remaining two should not be performed.” Men and women are not lesser animals, so there’s no reason for them to act like unaware animals when it comes to sex. But far from being a burden, this is a positive boon for men and women, since they are the only truly self-aware creatures capable of experiencing the joys of sex to the fullest.

Provided the reasons for sex are the right ones for a man and a woman, there’s no reason why it can’t be an amazing experience. This introductory section, like many chapters we’ll cover below, ends with a saying: “`The man who is ingenious and wise, who is accompanied by a helpful friend, and who knows the intentions of others, and also the proper time and place for doing everything, can easily conquer even a woman who is very hard to obtain.’”

On Sexual Union “Chap 1 MAN is divided into three classes, viz. the hare man, the bull man, and the horse man, according to the size of his lingam. Woman also, according to the depth of her yoni, is either a female deer, a mare, or a female elephant. There are thus three equal unions between persons of corresponding dimensions, and there are six unequal unions, when the dimensions do not correspond, or nine in all … Lastly, according to time there are three kinds of men and women: the short-timed, the moderate-timed, and the long-timed. And of these, as in the previous statements, there are nine kinds of union.”

The Kama Sutra is adamant that the largest men should stay with the most accommodating women, and that each should stick with those who best match them biologically and mentally. “In the beginning of coition the passion of the woman is middling, and she cannot bear the vigorous thrusts of her lover, but by degrees her passion increases until she ceases to think about her body, and then finally she wishes to stop from further coition.

Vatsyayana says that this is so, because the ways of working as well as the consciousness of pleasure in men and women are different. The difference in the ways of working, by which men are the actors, and women are the persons acted upon, is owing to the nature of the male and the female; otherwise the actor would be sometimes the person acted upon, and vice versa.

And from this follows the difference in the consciousness of pleasure, for a man thinks, `this woman is united with me’, and a woman thinks, `I am united with this man’. Some have asked that if the ways of working in men and women are different, shouldn’t there be a difference in the pleasure they feel? But this objection is groundless, for while the person acting and the person being acted upon clearly experience a difference in their ways of working, there is no reason for any difference in the pleasure they feel since both naturally derive sexual pleasure from the act they perform. [Since] the difference in their ways of working arises from the difference of their form only, it follows that men experience the same kind of pleasure as women do.”

According to Vatsyayana, men aren’t really from Mars, and women aren’t really from Venus. The difference is mainly in what each does in a moment of passion, not in how that passion is enjoyed. Although it is interesting to note that a man naturally sees himself as the one invading, the one making the woman his, while the woman naturally sees herself as purposely becoming one with her man at that moment. Possibly the essence of the difference in the male-female worldview. How to keep from Being Rejected While these next two parts are found under the section dealing with other men’s wives, they are placed here near the beginning of this article for our purposes.

They work as a fine overview and instructional for any man who wants to better his chances with the opposite sex. “Ancient authors say that a man should know the disposition, truthfulness, purity, and will of a young woman, as also the intensity, or weakness of her passions from the form of her body, and from her characteristic marks and signs. But Vatsyayana is of opinion that the forms of bodies, and the characteristic marks or signs are uncertain tests of character, and that women should be judged by their conduct, by the outward expression of their thoughts, and by the movements of their bodies.

Now as a general rule Gonikaputra says that a woman falls in love with every handsome man she sees, and so does every man at the sight of a beautiful woman, but owing to various considerations further steps are rarely taken. In any case, where love is concerned the following circumstances are peculiar to the woman: she loves without regard to right or wrong, and does not try to gain over a man simply for the attainment of one purpose.

Moreover, when a man first makes up to her she naturally shrinks from him, even though she may be willing to unite herself with him. But when the attempts to gain her are repeated and renewed, she at last consents. But with a man, even though he may have begun to love, he at first refuses to show his more romantic feelings from a regard for morality and wisdom, and although his thoughts are often on the woman, he does not yield, even though an attempt be made to gain him over. […] When a woman is once gained, [the man] often becomes indifferent about her.

The saying that a man does not care for what is easily gained, and only desires a thing which cannot be obtained without difficulty, is patently absurd.

The causes of a woman rejecting the addresses of a man are as follows:

· Affection for her husband
· Desire of lawful progeny
· Want of opportunity
· Anger at being addressed by the man too familiarly
· Difference in rank of life
· Want of certainty on account of the man being devoted to traveling
· Thinking that the man may be attached to some other person
· Fear of the man’s not keeping his intentions secret
· Thinking that the man is too devoted to his friends, and has too great a regard for them
· The apprehension that he is not in earnest
· Bashfulness on account of his being an illustrious man
· Fear on account of his being powerful, or possessed of too impetuous a passion
· Bashfulness on account of his being too clever
· The thought of having once lived with him on friendly terms only
· Contempt of his want of knowledge of the world
· Distrust of his low character
· Disgust at his want of perception of her love for him
· Compassion lest anything should befall him on account of his passion
· Despair at her own imperfections
· Fear of discovery
· Disillusion at seeing his grey hair or shabby appearance
· Fear that he may be employed by her husband to test her chastity
· The thought that he has too much regard for morality

Whichever of the above causes a man may detect, he should endeavor to remove it from the very beginning. Thus, the bashfulness that may arise from his greatness or his ability, he should remove by showing his great love and affection for her.